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New York City: converting people into assholes since... who the hell even knows

New York City: converting people into assholes since… who the hell even knows

Too bad hideous isn't my type or we'd be a great match

Too bad hideous isn’t my type or we’d be a great match

Sorry to hear about your breakup... glad that piec of shit's out of your life

Sorry to hear about your breakup… glad that piece of shit’s out of your life

I stepped in dog shit and thought of you

I stepped in dog shit and thought of you

Just because you have a gay friend doesn't mean I want to date him

Just because you have a gay friend doesn’t mean I want to date him

I was cleaning the cat box and thought of you

I was cleaning the cat box and thought of you

You have the hygiene of a straight man

You have the hygiene of a straight man

Just because we've been dating a while doesn't give you permission to be a fat fuck

Just because we’ve been dating a while doesn’t give you permission to be a fat fuck

And to think... I wanted children with that face

And to think… I wanted children with that face